David Feldman is Impotent David Feldman: comedian, writer, raconteur and prizefighter.

I don't want to say food has gotten expensive, but now hookers are paying me for blowjobs...

Celebrity Rehab’s Jeff Conaway tells Inside Edition that he has finally beaten drug addiction through Scientology.

Conaway still craves drugs, but now that Scientology has stolen all his money he can no longer afford them.

Conaway first heard of Scientology while doing Grease with John Travolta and again while doing John Travolta with grease…

Meanwhile Daniel Baldwin who also appeared on the VH1 show can be seen at Scientology’s Celebrity Centre as well-- cleaning their pool.
 

Condoleezza Rice announced today that she has no plans to run as vice president insisting she’ll be too busy overseeing detention camps after Commander Cheney cancels November and declares martial law.
Rice made the comments in New York where she was launching her new unisex hair salon with Al Sharpton.
Asked if he’d consider tapping Rice as vice president John McCain said, “Hell, I’ll tap her right now as secretary of state.”
Rice seemed the perfect hedge against an Obama/Clinton ticket because like Barack, she’s black, and like Hillary she’s slept with a president.

Dear Jenny,
I don't believe I'm making fun of eating disorders. I believe I'm attacking Ann Coulter, who I pray every day is suffering from bulimia and anorexia, as well as back pain and migraines.

I'm always amazed that people blame me for some harmless jokes. Why don't you complain to Calvin Klein or Vogue or Billy Bob Thornton-- the people who cause eating disorders.

I'm sorry I offended you. I'm willing to accept the blame because I believe in personal responsibility. Personal responsibility is also the reason I eat when I'm hungry.

I'm trying to make jokes by shitting on people, an activity someone with an eating disorder might not understand.

In conclusion, George Bush destroyed our constitution and lied his way into a war that has destroyed one nation and bankrupted another. I suggest you focus on the true villains of this world.
 

The New York Times hinted this week that John McCain carried on an affair with a woman thirty years his junior, making her roughly 104-years old.

Upon hearing that McCain cheated on his wife Rush Limbaugh said, "Maybe he is a genuine Republican." Then again, if McCain were a real Republican the affair would have been with another man.

McCain insists there was nothing improper in his relationship with the telecommunications lobbyist and all he did was take campaign contributions from her and then vote accordingly.

Studio33 has a pretty funny Fatal Attraction trailer on the topic.