"David Feldman has reached that point in a man's life when he's pissed off because his table isn't right next to the restroom..."
I don't want to say food has gotten expensive, but now hookers are paying me for blowjobs...
Go to the store, and buy one for dad or grandpa. The only thing you have to lose is your dignity.
http://www.davidfeldmancomedy.com/store