David Feldman is Impotent David Feldman: comedian, writer, raconteur and prizefighter.

Condoleezza Rice announced today that she has no plans to run as vice president insisting she’ll be too busy overseeing detention camps after Commander Cheney cancels November and declares martial law.
Rice made the comments in New York where she was launching her new unisex hair salon with Al Sharpton.
Asked if he’d consider tapping Rice as vice president John McCain said, “Hell, I’ll tap her right now as secretary of state.”

Dear Jenny,
I don't believe I'm making fun of eating disorders. I believe I'm attacking Ann Coulter, who I pray every day is suffering from bulimia and anorexia, as well as back pain and migraines.

I'm always amazed that people blame me for some harmless jokes. Why don't you complain to Calvin Klein or Vogue or Billy Bob Thornton-- the people who cause eating disorders.

I'm sorry I offended you. I'm willing to accept the blame because I believe in personal responsibility. Personal responsibility is also the reason I eat when I'm hungry.

The New York Times hinted this week that John McCain carried on an affair with a woman thirty years his junior, making her roughly 104-years old.

Upon hearing that McCain cheated on his wife Rush Limbaugh said, "Maybe he is a genuine Republican." Then again, if McCain were a real Republican the affair would have been with another man.