David Feldman is Impotent David Feldman: comedian, writer, raconteur and prizefighter.

After my 80th viewing of "The Passion," I decided it's even better than the book.

While I've never caught Oscar fever, I once contracted malaria by leaning in close to Bea Arthur at Hamburger Hamlet.

Robert Altman, Alfred Hitchcock, Martin Scorsese, Ingmar Bergman, Stanley Kubrick, Orson Welles, and Federico Fellini never won Oscars for directing. They suck.

The best sex I had was on my honeymoon. But for the life of me I can't find the number of that escort service.

Multiply by a thousand the stench of a Salvation Army Santa and you'll arrive at what the real Santa smells like the day after Christmas.