David Feldman is Impotent David Feldman: comedian, writer, raconteur and prizefighter.

If I brush my teeth 90 times in the morning I'm good for a month.

In high school my nickname was "David."

I've only lost one boiled egg eating competition, and that was because I came into it with a stomach flu.

Although I'm getting horrible with names and faces, I still never forget a penis.

In 1982 I lost my virginity to a pimp.

My nails are clipped twice a month. Except for the left pinky toe. That one must be trimmed five times a day. And even then I don't get it all.