Today's:
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- Happiness Is A Warm Pint
- Stuttering never kept David Feldman from directing movies. A congenital lack of talent did.
- Congratulations You May Have Already Won Ed McMahon's Mold!
- Note to wife: I'm having sex tonight. You're welcome to join me.
- THIS REMINDER FROM THE NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF AUTOEROTIC ASPHYXIATION
