FROM SADDAM TO SODOMY
According to Rick, "homosexuality runs antithetical to healthy and stable families." In Texas, 240,000 children and 17,000 pregnant women are about to lose their Medicaid. No Medicaid? Well, that threatens the "health" and "stability" of families. Maybe someone should check to see if cutting health benefits to give millionaires tax cuts also means you're gay.
Gay activist group the Log Cabin Republicans called Santorum an embarrassment. An eye opener for me, since I didn't know gay Republicans were capable of shame.
They take their name from Lincoln, a Republican, born in a log cabin and thought to have dabbled in homosexuality. The only proof they present when challenged on this is "Our American Cousin" was originally a musical.
Log Cabin Republicans should not be confused with Mrs. Butterworth Republicans who support fiscal responsibility, a strong military and pancakes.
Log Cabin Republicans. Pretty amazing considering Republicans have stuck their feet in their mouths so many times on gay issues its Freudian.
Senator Jesse Helms recently called homosexuality "sickening." In all fairness he was probably doing it wrong.
Then Trent Lott called gays "kleptomaniacs." Lott went on to insist that whoever pinched his Depeche Mode box set return it in the same condition they found it.
Make no mistake. These are never inadvertent slips of the tongue. They are premeditated, knowing winks to a huge portion of the party who thinks their kid can catch homosexuality from a sneeze. Sorta like T.B. and organized religion.
When Jerry Fallwell and Pat Robertson go on the 700 Club to blame 9/11 on sodomites (I have the tape), they provide comfort to gay bashers that while the law may not be on their side, God is.
Santorum's words empower George Bush when he blocks hate crime legislation. They're the exact words that keep same sex partners from receiving health benefits. They keep the C.D.C. from informing teenagers that condoms prevent the transmission of HIV, because when God hates homosexuals all gloves are off.
And in case you're wondering, maybe I am and then again maybe I am. Either way, I'm secure enough about my own masculinity to knock out only two kids instead of six like Rick Santorum. We get it Rick. Six kids. Nobody's straighter than you. Not since Congressman Michael Huffington has Washington witnessed such a strapping bastion of bible thumping Republican heterosexuality.
But with six kids, odds are one of them might reach puberty a little bit odd. If so, I wonder who'll be the one threatening the "health" and "stability" of the Santorum family. Homosexuals? Or Father Rick?
Maybe Santorum didn't mean what he said, and it was just his prostate acting up. Somebody ought to check it.
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David Feldman has a French Poodle named "Anya."
